Dear Isaac

October 7, 2009

2009-10-07T07:54:00.001-04:00

Dear Isaac,

On this day, one year ago, you were born. It was the most glorious day of my life...knowing you has changed me.

I remember when we got to the hospital in the morning, there was already a little gift there for you... a little stuffed lamb... from Taylor and Lenny. We got settled in what would be our room for the day, and nurse Kathy got mommy all hooked up to a bunch of machines and things. One of those machines let us hear your heartbeat. When Mom-Mom, Grandpa Jim, Aunt Kate and Uncle Tim, Pop Pop and Grandma Mia, Grammy and Grandpa Jack all came back to see us before you were born, they could hear your heart beating, too. Some doctors came in to take one last look at you on the ultrasound machine so that they could figure out the best way to get you out of my tummy safely. It was neat to see you in there one last time. Pastor Guy and Pastor Rob came back and prayed with us and they prayed for you... knowing that it's never too late for God to perform a miracle and to heal your sweet little body.

Then, we went to the operating room where you would be born. You were born at 8:33am; and while God did heal your body like we prayed He would, I know I met a miracle that day-- you.

You are the most beautiful baby I have ever seen... your fuzzy hair, your perfect little nose, and cute lips just like daddy's. Daddy and I are so thankful that we got to meet you while you were still alive so that you could feel us hug you and kiss your little face, and so you could clearly hear us tell you how much we love you and how proud we are of you. We do... and we are.

After you were born, nurse Kathy helped us give you a bath an put on the blue little outfit we got for you. Then, you got to meet everyone!! Your grandparents, your aunts and uncles, and some of mommy and daddy's closest friends who also love you very much. We're so glad that they all got to meet you and hold you. You are just precious.

Isaac, do you know that you have changed the world? That your life has impacted many, many people for Jesus? Do you know that there are people who didn't want to go to church who are now going back because of hearing about your life? That over one hundred people played in your golf tournament? That there are people who spend more time with their family, who hug their children a little bit tighter because of you? I am so proud to be your mommy... and I am so thankful that God has chosen to use you in a mighty way.

We miss you so much. We wish that you were here, just learning to walk, babbling out sounds like "dadada" and "mamama", and devouring your first taste of cake. Mommy and daddy know, though, that you are perfectly cared for in heaven... that you are healthy and whole, and that you have everything you need. We are thankful for that; but we still miss you. Deeply.

I love you, Isaac. I am so proud of you. Happy birthday, sweet boy.

Love,
Mommy

December 25, 2008

2008-12-25T07:36:00.003-05:00

Dear Isaac,

Today is Christmas... but you already know that because you are celebrating with Jesus himself.

Yet, Mommy and Daddy wish so much that you were here. We miss you Isaac... we miss your sweet little face, your soft cheeks, your fuzzy hair, your cute nose, the way it felt to hold you and snuggle with you. We were looking forward to much to getting to celebrate Christmas... and Easter... and you brithday... all for years to come.

For some reason, God decided it was better this way... better for you to be with us for 9 months and 16 minutes than for the long, long time Daddy and I would have liked, and prayed so hard for. For you, it is better. As your Mom, I would like to think that it would be better for you to be here with us; but you are in the better place. For me and Daddy... well, it seems like it would be better for us if you were here; we just miss you so terribly.

There's not a day that I don't think of you, miss you, long for you... you are so precious to us, Isaac. And even though you're not physically here this Christmas, and you won't ever be, you'll always be in our hearts; you will always be remembered; and you'll always be loved.

I love you, sweet Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

December 10, 2008

2008-12-10T11:44:00.003-05:00

Dear Isaac,

Mommy is missing you so much today. There are so many things that I would love to show you, tell you, do with you...

I know it's not you who is suffering; you are in the most perfect place. But Daddy and I are... we are here without you and we miss you terribly.

I love you so much, sweet Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

October 18, 2008

2008-10-18T15:07:00.001-04:00

Dear Isaac,

I don’t know how to put into one letter everything I would want to tell you in a lifetime… but I want to try because Daddy and I love you so much. We are so proud of you.

From the moment we found out about you, Daddy and I were so excited to meet you. As you grew, I could feel all of your kicks and wiggles, especially when I would drink a fizzy Zazz or eat something sweet. I remember the first time Daddy could feel you kick, too. As you grew, I would feel you move in new places, and that made me so happy because I knew that you were growing and were full of life. I loved it. Some of the doctors we met with suggested that we let you go; but that was never an option for us. You are our child. We have loved you from the moment we found out about you, and wanted nothing more than to be your Mommy and Daddy and to shower you with as much love as one could possibly give in a lifetime.

I remember the day that Daddy and I chose on a name for you… Isaac Timothy. We chose the name Isaac for two reasons; first, because of the story of Abraham and Isaac in the Bible, and feeling as though we were being asked to take a large step of faith in entrusting you into God’s care; and secondly because Isaac means “he will laugh.” We both just loved the thought of you laughing with joy. We chose Timothy as your middle name because Timothy means “to honor God.” We knew that your life would be honoring to God, and we wanted your name to reflect that. The night we chose your name, Daddy made up a name certificate and we prayed as we named you… we couldn’t wait to tell people your name so that they could pray for you, too, and start to get to know you even more. We loved naming you because at that point, you became even more personal and we felt even more connected to you as your Mommy and Daddy.

While you were still in my tummy, every morning I would sit and write you a letter while playing you music. You really liked when I played Wonderful, Merciful Savior and How Deep the Father’s Love for Us. After the letter was finished, I would read it to you. On my way to work each morning, I would talk to you, telling you about the colors in the morning sky, or simply just how much I love you and how proud I am of you and to be your Mommy. Every night, Daddy would say good night to you… he told you how much he loves you and how proud he is of you, too. We wanted so much for you to hear our voices and know that it was your Mommy and Daddy who love you, Isaac. I hope that you heard us, and that in hearing us, you just felt so deeply loved.

Did you know that while you were in my tummy we took you all sorts of places? We went hiking at Sugarloaf Mountain and walked through the tree-lined path. On the Fourth of July we watched fireworks and listened to their big, loud “booms.” We took you to the beach and jumped waves with you in the ocean. You and I even sat on the beach in the early mornings and I would tell you all about the beautiful sunrise and the sounds the seagulls made. Over the summer after a big thunderstorm we would often see a rainbow; I wished so much that you could have seen them, too. I told you all about the beautiful colors and the way each one would stretch across the sky. Towards the end of the summer we went golfing with Daddy, and I know he was excited to share that with you. We went to weddings, and football games, on picnics, and to so many other places; yet there are still so many things Daddy and I would have loved to do with you. We just weren’t finished making memories with you yet.

October 7th was the greatest day of our lives. You were born at 8:33am; you weighed 4 pounds, 12 ounces, and were 17 ½ inches long. Not only did your body have weight, but your life has weight, and significance, and you matter. You still matter, sweet Isaac. You matter to the One who so uniquely created you. You matter to the people whose lives you have touched and who you have brought closer to Jesus. You matter to me and to Daddy; you will always be our first child and our son. We are so proud of you because you…your life… has made a such a difference, especially to us. The sixteen minutes you were with us were the sweetest sixteen minutes of our lives; and I am thankful to have had that time to whisper in your ear over and over again how much I love you… to have kissed your little nose and sweet cheeks, held your hand with all your perfect little fingers, and then to hold you for hours afterwards, just studying all of your perfect little features and seeing how beautiful you are.

Isaac, we miss you so much. My arms are heavy and ache with the emptiness of not being able to hold you and snuggle with you anymore. But, we are so thankful to have had the chance to meet you… to look at you and just take you all in; to look at your cute nose and realize it’s just like mine; to see how your toes are just like Daddy’s; to look at the details of your little hands and feet, and to be captivated by the beauty of who you are. You are the greatest miracle I have ever been a part of, sweet Isaac. We loved being able to kiss your soft little cheeks and little button nose, and to tell you over and over again how much we love you and how proud we are to be your Mommy and Daddy. We hope that you heard us every time we told you we love you, that you felt every squeeze, and hug, and kiss we gave you, and that we somehow managed to give you all the love of a lifetime in the time we had with you. The sixteen minutes we were able to share with you were the sweetest sixteen minutes of our lives.

We know that Heaven is the best place to be, and we long for the day when we will get to see you again. Please know that you hold the most special place in our hearts, and that we will never stop loving you.

Love,Mommy and Daddy

October 7, 2008

2008-10-07T04:07:00.004-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Today is your birthday. It's 4:08 am, and in about 5 hours from now, Daddy and I will get to meet you! Right now I am sitting here, playing you some music (the songs you seem to like best) and feeling you wiggle. I wish I could sit here for a while longer.

Yesterday Daddy and I didn't do very much. We both just wanted to be home and be with you. I had to go to the hospital for them to take some blood, and then we went out to lunch for pizza. I ate a late dinner since it was the last meal I could eat. I wanted to make sure your last meal while you're in my tummy was good... so I had chicken pot pie and of course, a Zazz. For dessert, I had chocolate chip cookies and milk.

I don't know what to expect today; I know that Daddy and are looking forward to meeting you, holding you, kissing your face, and just giving you all the love we possible can. Mom Mom and Grandpa Jim, Pop Pop and Grandma Mia, Grammy and Grandpa Jack, Grandad, Aunt Kate and Uncle Tim, Uncle Pearce, Aunt Jolene, Aunt Melinda, and our small group friends will be there to meet you, too. I know each one of them is looking forward to meeting you, too, and just giving you all the love they can.

I know that the day you meet your child is supposed to be filled with nothing but joy; and Daddy and I are joyful. And we're both also hoping and praying so much, even now, that God will heal your little body on this side of heaven so you can be with us for a while. If not, then today you will get to meet Jesus, and be with Him in Heaven... and I know that's the best place you could be. I guess Mommy is just a bit selfish and doesn't want to have to possibly let you go.

I am so proud of you.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

October 6, 2008

2008-10-06T07:21:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Do you know how proud I am of you?

I am so proud of the way that over and over again I have been told by people, some of whom I know and others that Daddy and I have never met, that you have had an enormous impact on their lives... how you have helped to restore their faith in God and have brought them closer to Jesus. And you have certainly done that for me and for Daddy. I am so proud of you.

I can't believe that tomorrow is your birthday. It seems like it has gotten here so quickly. Last night our small group friends came over to pray for us. They prayed for all kinds of things... for time together as a family, for you to not be in any pain when you're born, and for a miracle. I really am excited to meet you tomorrow... to hold you, to kiss your little face, and to try to somehow take all the love I would ever want to show you in a lifetime and give it to you all at once.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

October 5, 2008

2008-10-05T06:43:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday Daddy and I had a nice day just being with you. We had a pretty lazy morning, which was okay because as you know, I love laying around and just feeling you kick.

For lunch, we decided to go on a picnic. There was a park that Daddy remembered seeing and it took us a little while to find it; but once we got there it was so nice. We sat at a picnic table right near the river. It was sunny and warm, but not hot; there was a gentle breeze that rustles through the trees, and the river gently moved along over the rocks. I was so glad to be able to take you on your first picnic.

I can't believe your birthday will be here in two days... that this time on Tuesday, they will be getting things ready at the hospital for Daddy and I to meet you. Like I told you before, I am very excited to meet you, to look in your eyes, to run my hands over your soft hair, and kiss your sweet face. My heart hurts, though, too, because I don't know how long Daddy and I will get to keep you. I just love you so much... even from the moment we found out about you, I have just loved you. I just want you to know that if there was any way to make things better, I would... I would do anything. But really it's up to God, and so we keep praying and we keep asking Him. And we know that if His choice is to have you go home with Him, that you're in the safest and most loving hands you could be. I just wish you'd get to be in our hands for a while.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

October 4, 2008

2008-10-04T06:39:00.004-04:00

Dear Isaac,

I am so thankful to have had the day to spend with you yesterday. To most people, it would appear as if I did nothing all day. I didn't get to the laundry that needs to be done, I didn't cook a single meal... but I got to lay on the couch and just be with you. I loved it.

When Daddy came home we met with Pastor Guy for a little bit. He is going to be at the hospital on Tuesday when you are born to pray with us and to pray for you. So many people are praying for your Isaac... for God to heal your precious little body, for you to not be in any pain or discomfort when you are born, and people are even thanking God for the impact that your sweet life has had on them.

Last night Daddy and I went to a football game. We were excited to take you to a real one and not just watch one on t.v. I think you liked the marching band best, especially the drum line! Daddy's good friend, Dave, is the coach of one of the teams, and I know Daddy was glad that Dave's team not only one, but that Dave got to "meet" you and pat my tummy to say hello. We were both so glad that you were able to go to your first football game.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

October 3, 2008

2008-10-03T05:48:00.007-04:00

Dear Isaac,

I am very glad that I am finished working for a while. All I really want to do is lay here and be with you.

Yesterday Daddy and I got to see you on the ultrasound machine. We had the nice ultrasound lady who always gets good pictures of you. You turned your head for us and she got some great pictures of your sweet little face! In this first one I can't believe how much you've grown...

This one isn't very clear, but you were eating your fist. You kept putting the whole thing in your mouth... it was really cute!

In this one, you can see your nose clearly. You definitely have Mommy's nose!

In this last one, you're making a fishy face. Some people told me you look like you're getting ready to give us a big kiss!

It was a treasure to be able to get these pictures. Daddy and I just kept looking at them over and over. I can't wait to just kiss your cute little cheeks and be with you on Tuesday... and I pray that I get to be with you on Wednesday, and Thursday... and Friday... and for a really long time.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

October 2, 2008

2008-10-02T05:58:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Today is Pop Pop's birthday. It's a big birthday, too... he turns 60! I realized yesterday that your birthday will be right in the middle of his and Missy's.

Today is also special because Daddy and I will get to see you on the ultrasound machine again. I really hope you turn your head for us this time so we can get a good shot of your face. I am also hoping the ultrasound lady will be able to get a picture that shows how much hair you have!

I can't believe your birthday is 5 days away. I am so excited to meet you, and I know Daddy is, too. I am looking forward to figuring out whose nose you have and if your little ears are more like mine or more like Daddy's. It's a hard thing, though, because your future with us here is just so uncertain; we want so much for you to be healthy and to be able to keep you with us for a while. We, along with many, many people, keep begging God to allow that to happen. We just don't know. One thing that is certain, though, is that if you're not with us, you'll be with Jesus. And that brings Daddy and I comfort.

I just love you so much, Isaac... it's just something I can't describe. I would do anything to protect you, make you feel better, and to keep you here; but there's nothing to do but pray. And so we do. All the time.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

October 1, 2008

2008-10-01T05:37:00.004-04:00

Dear Isaac,

It was weird for Mommy to write "October" as the date for my letter to you today because this is the month in which you will be born. Pop Pop and my cousin Missy are born in October, too. In fact, Pop Pop's birthday is tomorrow.

Yesterday was a day off of school for Daddy and me. We both had to go to the dentist, which neither of us like very much, and then we went to see the doctor. This time the visit was short. I told her that I am still having some of those contractions, despite the medicine, and she wants me to make sure I am resting a lto when I am at home. That's no problem for me... I really like resting and just having my hands in my tummy. I just hope when those contractions come you're still comfortable in there. I would never want you to be in any discomfort.

Last night Daddy worked on his school work until pretty late. When he came upstairs, he said good night to you. He would say something to you, then wait to see if you'd give him a little kick. Each time, you did! He told me he thought it was so sweet that you do that. I know he loves it when you do.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 30, 2008

2008-09-30T07:26:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

I am glad that I don't have to go to work today. Mommy and Daddy were up very late watching the Ravens football game. It was a close one... it even went into overtime! Unfortunately, the Ravens lost; but, Daddy and I enjoyed watching the game. For a while, Daddy sat with me with his hands on my tummy telling you all about it, tapping my tummy, and feeling your kicks. He is such a good Daddy, and he loves you so much.

Today Mommy and Daddy have some appointments to go to and errands to run. One place we have to go is to the doctor's office. This is the last time we will see the doctor until your birthday. When we were there last week, she told us how beautiful you are going to be. She's right. I can't wait to see your sweet face, your head full of hair, your hands and your feet... maybe you'll even give us a thumbs up in person!

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 29, 2008

2008-09-29T05:57:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

The entire church prayed for you yesterday. Pastor Guy had Daddy and I come down front, and he told everyone about you. I was so proud to stand up there as your Mommy, but was also very sad as he shared the news the doctors have told us. The elders from the church came up, too, and layed hands on Daddy and I as everyone prayed. I know many, many people have been touched by your life and are praying for you, Isaac.

We came home and watched some football. Daddy was very glad that the Jets won. They scored a lot of points against the other team. Oh, how I wish I knew that we'd be able to watch season after season after season of football games with you. I know how much Daddy would love that... how much he would love to get you your own Jets jersey and teach you to throw a football.

Your birthday is coming up very soon. Lots of people are going to be there to meet you and to tell you how much they love you. I can't wait to hold you and kiss you; but I really like knowing that you're safe in my tummy. You were up very early this morning wiggling around and I loved just laying there for an hour before getting up, feeling you move all around. I am going to miss that.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 28, 2008

2008-09-28T07:12:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday we got to visit with Pop-Pop and Gandma Mia. Pop-Pop's birthday is coming up this week, and Daddy and I wanted to take him out for a special dinner. We had some wonderful Italian food at a very nice restaurant near Pop-Pop's house. Mommy had a big plate of lasagna, but I couldn't eat much of it. You are getting so big in there, and I think my stomach is a bit squished! That's okay, though. I am never hungry, and would rather know that you're growing and getting stronger. You gave us some really strong kicks again last night... sometimes your kicks are so hard I think you're going to kick right through my tummy! I love those because you will sometimes leave your little foot out there for a little while and when I touch my tummy, I can feel it. It makes me feel a little bit closer to you.

Today Daddy and I are going to church, and Pastor Guy is going to have everyone there pray for you. So many people already are, Isaac... people begging God to heal you, people praying that you won't feel any pain when you're born, and people thanking God so much for the impact that your life has had.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 27, 2008

2008-09-27T06:39:00.004-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Daddy and I had a doctor's appointment yesterday. The nurse found your heartbeat right away, and it was perfect. You are continuing to grow, because each time they weigh Mommy, I weigh little bit more. The doctor felt all around on my tummy and could feel right where your head and sweet little feet are. She is the one who will be performing my c-section, and she made sure to tell us how beautiful you are going to be when you're born. I told her how the other doctors have said that you have a lot of hair, and she chuckled. I told her that I am excited to see it and to meet you.

You continue to kick up a storm. You gave Daddy and I a few really big kicks while we were watching the Presidential debate last night. My whole tummy shook!! I love knowing that you are getting stronger and that you are so alive in there.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 26, 2008

2008-09-26T05:58:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

I am so proud of you. Over the last few days I have been told by so many people, either in talking with them or through notes they have written me, about how you have changed their lives. They have been telling me how you have left an impression on their hearts, how they have been praying for you, and how you have brought them closer to Jesus and restored their faith in God. Daddy and I have talked about hwo it is important to us that our children have an impact in this world; you already have in so many ways. I am so proud to be your Mommy, and am so, so proud of you.

I am glad that it is Friday and that we'll have the weekend to spend just relaxing and being able to enjoy you. I know Daddy is looking forward to watching more football and telling you about it; I am looking forward to just getting to feel you kick and wiggle.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 25, 2008

2008-09-25T06:00:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

This morning I am playing you a song called "Come Thou Fount." It's an older hymn, but many people have redone it more recently. The person singing this version is Mark Schultz, one of my favorites. He has a wonderful voice, and the piano and violins in the background are beautiful. This is another one of Mommy's favorites that we sing in church.

Yesterday was a hard day for Mommy. It has been very hard knowing that our time with you is getting to be very short. I am so excited to meet you, but I am so sad that that may also mean that I have to give you up. I don't want to. I want to know that you'll be here for a long while with us. I want to listen to you make sweet baby noises, read to you at bed time, teach you how to walk and ride a bike, and watch you grow up. I know that if you're not with us you'll be in a much safer, better, and more perfect place because you'll be in heaven with Jesus. I just love you so much and want so badly to have the chance for you to be with us for a while first.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 24, 2008

2008-09-24T06:01:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Daddy played some golf yesterday. It was beautiful weather, and I am so glad he had the chance to get out there. Afterwards, we went out for cheeseburgers and milkshakes. I think you really liked the chocolate milkshake I had!Daddy also talked to you for a while yesterday. You wiggled around a bunch when you heard his voice... we both love it when you do that.

This morning I am playing you "How Deep the Father's Love for Us" which is another song we sing at church. It's a beautiful song about God's deep love for us... so deep that he even sent His son to the cross to die for us. You seem to like this song too. There's the pretty sound of the piano, just like some of the other songs I play for you.

Love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 23, 3008

2008-09-23T05:36:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

The Jets didn't play too well last night. Daddy wasn't very happy about that because he was really looking forward to their game. I know he was glad, though, that we got to watch it together as a family... at least the first half anyway.

This morning I have been sitting here playing the song "Wonderful, Merciful, Savior" to you. It's one of my favorite songs that we sing at church. It seems like you really like the sound of the piano and of the people singing. I like to play this one for you a lot because of how beautiful it is.

I can't believe that your birthday is going to be here in two weeks. Mommy has very mixed feelings about that. I am so excited to be able to meet you and see those little legs and arms that have been poking and kicking me. But I am also very scared because I know that you're safe in my tummy and I don't want you to be in a place where you aren't safe. You are so precious to Mommy and Daddy.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 22, 2008

2008-09-22T06:04:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday Daddy and I made it to church. It had been a couple of weeks because of traveling and with Mommy being in the hospital last Sunday. We sang some great songs during worship time. I always try to sing loudly because I want you to hear the songs, too. I think some of the people around me may have thought I was a little weird, but that's okay. It's more important to me that you get to hear the beautiful songs, too.

During the afternoon we watched football. The Ravens won, which is a good thing. Tonight the Jets are playing, and I know Daddy is excited to watch the game with you. What I mean is that he loves to sit or lay on the couch with me feeling you move all around while watching the game. It's his way of being able to connect with you and to let you know that he's there, and that he loves you so much. Hopefully the Jets will do as well as the Ravens did.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 21, 2008

2008-09-21T08:05:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday morning Daddy and I were able to spend some great time with you. After laying in bed and talking for a long while, we went to have some breakfast and took a nice walk at the park. The weather was cool, but it was still very sunny. It was a beautiful morning.

When we got back home, Daddy and I planted a rose bush that Pop Pop and Grandma Mia had given us in honor of you. It took a little while to get it planted, but it will look beautiful as it starts to grow and to bloom. It has already bloomed a little bit, and the roses are a wonderful shade of yellow and smell very sweet. I am so thankful that we'll have something to look at and always think of you.

Daddy went to play golf with John yesterday afternoon and he said they had a lot of fun. You have the best Daddy in the world... he loves you so much. I hope you're able to hear him when he talks to you and says good night to you each night.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 20, 2008

2008-09-20T07:18:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Today Daddy and I are going to plant a rose bush that Pop Pop and Grandma Mia gave us. It has beautiful yellow blossoms that smell very sweet on it. I like to think of it as our "Isaac" bush... I know it will always make me think of you.

During small group last night you were kicking around like crazy. A few times you kicked my ribs. That's a new thing for you... it must mean your legs are growing and getting even longer. I love how strong you are with your little legs... sometimes you kick so hard it feels like your leg is going to pop right out of my tummy! I love that.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 19, 2008

2008-09-19T06:05:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday you got a present in the mail from Lauren and baby Norrah. There was a CD filled with beautiful songs, and I played a couple of them for you yesterday afternoon. There was also a precious hand-made quilt with the fruits of the spirit embroidered through it. It has lots of bright green and blue, and some purple. It is gorgeous.

You have continued to be moving around a lot, and both Daddy and I just love it. I love that Daddy gets to feel you move even more often. I know he's very glad about that, too.

Mom Mom is coming to visit and have lunch with me at work today. I am hoping you'll be as wiggly as you usually are so she can feel your big old kicks, too! I am very glad that after work today it's the weekend and we'll get some time to just relax and be with you. I am so glad for today... that you are alive and that you are still with us.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 18, 2008

2008-09-18T06:09:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

I ordered a few more outfits for you a few days ago and they came in the mail yesterday. They, too, are very soft and snuggly. Daddy and I just wanted to have several options of things that would allow you to feel comfortable.

You were moving around like crazy again yesterday. I loved being able to feel that and to be able to look down at my tummy during the day and see it moving because you were moving. I can't wait until I get to hold you, but I am going to miss getting to feel you move inside my tummy.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 17, 2008

2008-09-17T05:47:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday Mommy and Daddy had to go to the doctor and we got to hear your heartbeat on the ultrasound machine. It was still very, very strong, and you were wiggling around like crazy. I love it when you do that.

We also learned that your birthday is going to be October 7, unless God decides it's time for you to come early. I looked up every book in the Bible with a chapter 10, verse 7, and none of them seemed to fit you very well. Then I looked up Psalm 107. It's pretty long, but there were some verses in there that I loved...

1 Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
his love endures forever.

8 Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men,
9 for he satisfies the thirsty
and fills the hungry with good things.

13 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.
14 He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom
and broke away their chains.
15 Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men

19 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.
20 He sent forth his word and healed them;
he rescued them from the grave.
21 Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men.

43 Whoever is wise, let him heed these things
and consider the great love of the LORD.

There are other good parts of that Psalm, but these were some of my favorites.

As I write this, I am playing you some more music, and you seem to like it. I love being able to share this time with you in the morning. It's very special for Mommy, and I hope it lets you know how much I love you.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 16, 2008

2008-09-16T05:48:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

I loved that we got to spend so much time together yesterday. I had to pretty much just lay on the couch all day, and I was able to just put my hands on my tummy and feel you move all over the place. You were very, very active. I could feel your little legs moving up and down... at least that's what I think it was since I know how you're positioned in there. I know the medicine I am taking makes me a little jittery, and it seems to make you feel that way, too. I hope you're okay in there and that the medicine isn't too much. I worry about that. I just want you to feel safe and comfortable.

Daddy and I go to the doctor's today. We will be getting to see you on the ultrasound machine, too. We'll be talking with the doctor about the day you'll be born. It is supposed to be one month from now, but I am starting to wonder if perhaps it will be sooner. In a way I hope not; Mommy isn't ready to give up getting to feel all of your kicks and wiggles yet.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 15, 2008

2008-09-15T05:39:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Today Mommy has to stay home and rest to make sure that those contractions don't come back. I am taking a medicine that makes me a little jittery, and I think it makes you a little jittery, too, because I felt you move around a lot more yesterday since I started taking it.

I am looking forward to just getting to be with you these next two days, playing you music, and feeling you wiggle and kick. As much as I am looking forward to meeting you, I am not ready to give up feeling you move around inside me just yet. That has to be my favorite feeling of all time because it's just such a special thing that you and I get to share.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 14, 2008

2008-09-14T12:40:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

I am sorry that it took Mommy longer than normal to write my letter to you today. I love spending my first moments in the morning with you, writing to you, and playing you music. We had a little excitement around here this morning.

Some things weren't right, so I called the doctor and went to the hospital. They discovered that I was having contractions pretty close together and needed to get them to stop. It's too early for you to be here, even though I am really looking forward to meeting you, holding you, and getting to kiss your little face.

Things seem okay now, and I am glad the doctors were able to get everything under control. It was a bit scary for both Daddy and I.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 13, 2008

2008-09-13T07:30:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

I just wanted to tell you how much Daddy and I love you. It won't be long until we get to meet you, and like Daddy told you last night, we can't wait to be able to hold you. I am looking forward to being able to run my fingers through your soft hair, tickle your little feet, and kiss your sweet face.

You have forever changed us, Isaac. You have taught Daddy and me what it means to love so completely, to cherish the little things, and to not take our days for granted.

We met with the people at the hospital yesterday, and I know they are going to take very, very good care of you. That makes Mommy glad, because I want nothing more than for you to feel comfortable and safe.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 12, 2008

2008-09-12T06:17:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday was a long day for Mommy... a busy day at work, and some of the students weren't being very well-behaved. I had to raise my voice a few times and speak more firmly to a few of them, and I didn't like it very much because I didn't want you to hear Mommy's voice that way. Hopefully today will be better and I won't have to speak that way. I only want you to hear a voice that's tender and sweet.

You were moving a LOT yesterday; not just when you usually are in the evening, but through most of the school day, too. I loved that. I loved knowing that you are awake and are with me and still very much alive and growing. I had coffee with Kirsten last night and you were very busy then, as usual... she got to feel your little feet kicking and pedaling away. You are so, so precious.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 11, 2008

2008-09-11T05:56:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Last night Daddy and I had a long talk about the kind of care that we want you to receive in the hospital when you are born. We had thought and prayed about all of that for a long time. We needed to write it down for the doctors at the hospital so that they knew what our wishes were for you... for you to be wrapped in your snuggly blue blanket, for us to be able to hold you as long as we want, and for your time on Earth to be as comfortable as it can be for you.

We are still begging God for a miracle for you. So many people are, Isaac. Your sweet life has brought so many people to their knees, some who pray often, and others who may have never prayed before. I am so proud that your life has pointed others to Jesus.

I am playing you some of my favorite worship songs again this morning. I can tell you like them because you're wiggling and kicking like crazy. I could sit here and do this with you all day.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 10, 2008

2008-09-10T06:19:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

I am sitting here playing some of my favorite songs we sing in church for you. The first one was "How Deep the Father's Love for Us" and now we're listening to "Wonderful, Merciful Savior." I think you really like them because you were pretty still when I first got up this morning, but now you're moving all around!

It was so good to see you on the ultrasound yesterday. I was sad that we didn't get to see your sweet face, but the doctor got a nice picture of your legs and feet. And, we learned that you have a whole head full of hair! I am so glad... I really wanted you to have hair. Mommy and Daddy both had lots of hair when we were born, too. It's neat to see another way that you are like us and that you're our sweet son.

I wish I could sit here all morning and listen to music with you and feel you wiggle.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 9, 2008

2008-09-09T06:22:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

I can't wait to see you on the ultrasound machine today. I hope you are wiggling and kicking all over the place. I hope you give us another thumbs up today. Maybe you'll even be sucking your thumb, or we'll get to see if you have a head of dark hair. I hope the ultrasound lady will give us some 4D pictures again... the kind that make you look like an actual person rather than an x-ray.

You are so precious to Daddy and I.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 8, 2008

2008-09-08T06:12:00.004-04:00

Dear Isaac,

I got to visit with Mom-Mom, Aunt Kate, Pop-Pop and Grandma Mia for a little while yesterday. They came down for a little party that the neighborhood ladies had for Mommy. Aunt Kate brought the sweetest, softest little stuffed lamb for you. Mom-mom got to feel you kick for the first time, I am so glad she did... she has really wanted to. Pop-Pop watched football with Daddy while we were there.

Everyone there wrote a little message on the mat of a framed picture of Mommy, Daddy, and you in my tummy. This is the one:

I love that picture.

The people at the shower all also wrote a prayer, blessing, or letter to you. They were so precious.

I am sitting here playing you music and you're wiggling around a little. I wish I could stay here and do this for hours, but I need to go to work now.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 7, 2008

2008-09-07T06:38:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday was a relaxing day for both Daddy and I. We had the chance to spend some time together, and some time with you. I loved being able to just plop on the couch watching a movie with Daddy while we got to feel you move all over the place. You were really, really active and we both love that!

I played you some music yesterday morning, too. Like last time, as soon as you heard it you started to move all over the place. It seems like you really like it. I sure hope you do.

In the package I told you about from Laura were two Christmas ornaments. They are for Daddy and I to take to the hospital when you are born so that we can put some blue paint on your little hand and foot and then have your hand and footprint painted onto the ornament. I thought it was such a great idea, so I went to Michael's and bought more ornaments. I want other people to have that same sweet memory of your birthday, too.

On Tuesday Daddy and I will go to the doctor's and will get a chance to "see" you again. I can't wait. I love watching you move on the screen, and I love it when they turn on the 4-D pictures where we can really see your face. Maybe you'll have some hair on your head this time!

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 6, 2008

2008-09-06T08:54:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

I received a package yesterday from a sweet lady named Laura. In the package were all sorts of things for Mommy and Daddy to have at the hospital to make memories with you. There's clay to take an imprint of your hand and feet, a journal for Mommy and Daddy to write about our times with you, and even Christmas ornaments on which we can capture your hand and footprints. I am so thankful to have these things.

Last night at small group we prayed for you. We prayed about Mommy and Daddy's time getting to see you at our doctor's appointment on Tuesday, and we continued to pray for a miracle... that God would heal your sweet little body. Oh, how much Mommy and Daddy want Him to.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,

Mommy

September 5, 2008

2008-09-05T06:18:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Since I had read that all of your senses are developed, I decided to try playing you some music last night. While I was at the computer working on some things, I put on some of my favorite songs and held the little computer speaker to my tummy. You had been somewhat quiet in the afternoon, but as soon as I started playing you the music, you started to move and wiggle like crazy! I made sure to put the speaker on a place on my tummy that I knew wasn't right over your head because I didn't want to hurt your sweet little ears. You must have still been able to hear the songs because of all that movement. I hope you liked them. It was a special thing for Mommy to be able to share with you some of my favorite songs that we sing in church. I sang along with some of the songs, too, so that you could still hear my voice as well. I hope to play you some more music tonight.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 4, 2008

2008-09-04T05:51:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Last night Mommy had a hard and sad night. I am so excited to get to meet you in a few weeks, but I know that also means that in a few weeks Daddy and I will most likely have to say goodbye to you. I am not ready to do that yet... I don't think I would ever be ready to.

I just layed in bed crying, feeling all of your sweet kicks and wiggles, thinking about how I have asked God so many times for a miracle... for Him to heal you on this side of heaven, for Him to make your little body okay. That's something that Daddy and I, along with many other people, keep asking Him for.

I don't know what His answer will be. But I want you to know how proud Daddy and I are of you, how much we love you, how we are so thankful for you, and how much you have changed our lives and the lives of so many people for the better. You are so important to us, and you have and will continue to play such an important role here on Earth.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 3, 2008

2008-09-03T06:22:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday Mommy and Daddy got to hear your heartbeat at the doctor's office. It was beating strong at 153 beats per minute. While the nurse was trying to find your heartbeat you kept kicking the little machine they use. You did that last time, too. It had us both laughing. Your strong heartbeat tells me that you're still growing, and it makes me so glad to know that you are doing okay in there.

I continue to hear stories of people who have been touched by your life. I am so proud of you, Isaac. We are so thankful to be your Mommy and Daddy.

Last night Daddy talked to you for a while. I think you heard him. You had been moving around a lot, and when Daddy started talking to you, you got really still. I guess that maybe his voice was soothing to you. I hope so.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 2, 2008

2008-09-02T06:03:00.004-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Mommy and Daddy are looking forward to getting to hear your heartbeat at the doctor's office today. It is one of the most sweetest sounds ever to us.

I was reading more about your development yesterday and the article said that at this point all five of your senses are developed. That is so neat! I have heard that sometimes babies react when their mommies put a flashlight to their tummy. I sort of what to try it, but I don't want to hurt your sweet little eyes. I love knowing, though, that you can hear Daddy and I when we talk to you. We talk to you all the time, and Daddy loves saying goodnight to you. I sure hope you know that it’s him and how much we both love you.

I hope you're doing okay in there. When I go to sleep I try very hard to position myself so that I am not squishing you. It's hard because you're getting so big! Hopefully the pillows I am using help. I just want you to feel comfortable and safe.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

September 1, 2008

2008-09-01T08:09:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Mommy and Daddy came home yesterday from Annapolis. We had a wonderful time there, both being together and getting to go to Nick's wedding. Yesterday afternoon we relaxed for a bit, ran some errands, and then watched a movie together.

You must have stayed awake all night last night. Your kicks have become much stronger and more frequent in the evening; even Daddy noticed that again. I had to get up a couple of times during the night to use the bathroom, and every time you were wiggling around like crazy! I really enjoyed that.

Tomorrow Daddy and I will go to the doctor's and get to hear your heartbeat. I am really looking forward to it.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 31, 2008

2008-08-31T14:13:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Last night Daddy and I went to Nick's wedding. It was fun to get all dressed up and show you off! The wedding was at a Greek church, and some of the things the priest said were even in Greek.

In many of the prayers, Isaac from the Bible, whom you were named after, was mentioned. In each of these prayers that mentioned Isaac, the priest was praying for God to bless Nick and Marylin as he blessed Isaac. I couldn't help but think of you.

I started praying and asking God to bless you. I asked Him again for a miracle, that he would heal your body and make you whole. I asked Him to keep you from being in any pain. And I asked Him to give Mommy and Daddy and long time with you. It was neat that even though we were at the wedding, I still was able to think about you and pray for you.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 30, 2008

2008-08-30T13:03:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

This morning Daddy and I walked around Annapolis. I love it there. We had breakfast at a place that was VERY crowded, but the food was yummy. We sat at the edge of the dock on a bench and looked out at the water. You were kicking a lot, and Daddy and I each had a hand on my tummy as we just sat and talked for a while. We went into a couple of stores, and on our way back to the hotel, found a store full of really beautiful baby things. The store was called "Bonjour" which means "hello" in French.

We had planned to look for an outfit for you on Monday, but I was so glad to have found this little shop. The store was small, but everything in there was special. We picked out an outfit for you that's a sweet shade of baby blue. It is made of the softest cotton. I kept rubbing it against my cheek, and it just felt so good. It's a long "onsie" as they call them, and it has long sleeves and long pant legs. One of the things I liked about it is that it won't cover your feet. I want to be able to see your little feet and toes. I think this outfit will feel really comfortable on you. Daddy and I both thought it was perfect.

I think about you all the time, Isaac. I am really looking forward to getting to meet you soon. I want so much to be able to just hold you, hug you, and kiss you.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 29, 2008

2008-08-29T05:47:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Last night you were more wiggly than you've been in a long time! I continue to feel you kick and move in places I haven't before, and that's really fun for Mommy. As Daddy and I were laying in bed to go to sleep, he had his hand on my tummy, too, and he could feel you moving all around, too. We love knowing that you're alive, and growing, and that you're safe in there.

It is finally Friday, and Daddy and I are glad for the weekend. We have an extra long weekend because it is Labor Day and we have the day off on Monday. I am hoping we'll be able to go to the store and pick out an outfit for you. We've wanted to wait to go until we had some time to not feel rushed so we can pick out an outfit that's just right.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 28, 2008

2008-08-28T06:24:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

This weekend Mommy and Daddy get to go away for a few days to a beautiful town called Annapolis. It is on the water, has lots of old buildings, and is a very nice place to walk around. It's one of Mommy's favorite towns, actually, and I am glad that Daddy and I will get the chance to take you there. It's another special thing for us to be able to do with you while you are with us.

Daddy spent quite a bit saying goodnight to you last night. He was rubbing and kissing my tummy, and I think you gave him a few small kicks. He always hopes and really likes it when you kick back really hard.

Today it is raining. We've needed the rain... the plants and the grass have been having a hard time without it. When I was little, I loved rainy days in the summer. Aunt Kate and I would make umbrella forts in the back yard and sit inside of them while the rain fell all around us. Now, I like the sunny days better, though. They seem a lot happier.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 27, 2008

2008-08-27T06:09:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Last night I worked on putting all of my letters to you into a book. It's not an actual book yet, but I am designing it on the computer and then will have it made into one. I have lots of pictures in it...like pictures from the ultrasounds and all sorts of ones of you in my tummy while we do different things. I have enjoyed working on it a lot because I get to re-read many of those letters and think about you. This afternoon Daddy is going to play golf, so I will have some more time to work on it.

It seems like such a little while until Daddy and I will get the chance to meet you. I am looking forward to holding you, touching your soft skin, and kissing your sweet little face. I wish I knew that I would be able to have years to snuggle and cuddle with you, but I am thankful to know that I will even be able to meet you at all. You are such a treasure to Daddy and to me.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 26, 2008

2008-08-26T06:15:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Mommy's time is short this morning since I need to get into school and get ready for all of those students who will be coming today.

Kirsten and John came over last night and prayed with us. We continued to beg God for a miracle and to heal your body and make you whole on this side of heaven. I want Him to say yes so badly.

Isaac, want you to know that I love you. I am so proud of you for the way that your life is making an impact on this world. Your existence is causing people to think about God and to pray, strengthening other people's faith, and showing the world that every life matters, and that none is too small that it can't make an impact. Like someone pointed out to Mommy, that's a heavy job for our little thumbs up guy. And you're doing it. I am so proud of you, Isaac.... and I am so thankful that I get to be your Mommy.

I love you.

Love,
Mommy

August 25, 2008

2008-08-25T06:38:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Today Mommy and Daddy start another week back at work. The students come back tomorrow. I am a little nervous about that because I am not sure what kinds of questions they will ask about you, but I do love the chance to be able to talk about you.

Like I told you before, just because I am working doesn't mean that I am not thinking about you. I think about you and pray for you all the time. I try to talk to you throughout the day when I can, too. I don't know if you can hear me or not, but I hope so. I rub your little head and your little feet... at least the place on my tummy where I know your head and feet are, to tell you that I am here and that I love you. Hopefully you can feel it when I do that.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 24, 2008

2008-08-24T07:06:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday Daddy and I had some good time to spend together. We took a walk up to a restaurant to have some lunch, and it was good to be outside getting to spend some time together for a while. Daddy played golf in the afternoon, and I had some errands to run. I went to Party City to pick up table cloths for a cookout with the neighbors today, and I ended up walking down the aisle that had things for baby showers. One of the things I found was a kit to take a baby's hand prints and foot prints. So, I bought it for you. I just want the chance to have every memory of you possible.

You were really moving around a lot yesterday. I can tell that you are continuing to grow and get bigger because when I think my tummy can't get any larger, it does! Sometimes your little foot sticks out on the right side of my tummy. I can't see the shape of your foot and toes, but I can see and feel this little bump. Since I know how you are positioned in there, I figure it's your foot. It's really cute. I love it when I can feel it over there.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 23, 2008

2008-08-23T06:32:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Mommy is really glad it is finally the weekend! I am glad to be able to slow down a little bit and enjoy some time with you.

Last night we met up with Kirsten, John, Anne, and Jack at the park for a barbeque. We even made s'mores over the fire. I think you really liked them! You were wiggling and kicking a lot afterwards. Kirsten even saw you move in my tummy!

We talked a lot about you last night. Kirsten and I wanted to take some time to pray together, but we got wrapped up in our conversation about you and it started to et dark, so we ran out of time. Even though we didn't pray together, I know that she prays for you, and for Mommy and Daddy.

One of the things we talked about was how much your life has already made an impact here. I know I tell you that a lot, but it is really important that you know how much you matter, Isaac. You are not insignificant. Your life has weight, and you are deeply treasured.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 22, 2008

2008-08-22T06:26:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday was a very long day for both Mommy and Daddy. We're both pretty tired from getting back to work, and we were both out late last night with things we were doing. Daddy had class, and Mommy went to the neighbor's house to plan our picnic.

I think about you all the time. Even though I am at work and have to do other things, I still pay close attention to all of your kicks and wiggles. In fact, your wiggles woke me up pretty early this morning! I don't mind... it gave me some extra time to spend with you before going off to work.

A few nights ago Daddy had a dream about you. He dreamed that it was a few adys after you were born and we were back at home with you. In his dream, he was holding you and you came out perfect... none of the things the doctors have been seeing on the ultrasounds were a problem. We continue to pray that God would do a miracle and heal your little body. Many, many people are asking Him for that.

You are so precious, Isaac. I love you.

Love,
Mommy

August 21, 2008

2008-08-21T06:24:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday we went to the doctor and we got to listen to your heartbeat. The nurse and I both kept laughing because you were moving around so much from the sugary drink and kept kicking the machine they use to listen to your heartbeat. She finally found it, though, beating strongly at 153 beats per minute.

The doctor we met with wasn't the usual doctor we see. This doctor, in fact, suggested many times that Daddy and I not let my pregnancy with you get this far. There's no way Daddy and I would have ever made that choice. God made you and has given you life, and God will decide when it's time for you to be in heaven with Him. The doctor asked me why we wanted to keep you, and I told him that we would never just get rid of you. I could tell that this doctor hasn't met very many Moms and Dads who feel the way we do. You are so special... fearfully and wonderfully made, like it says in the Bible. You matter... your sweet little life matters. I am so proud to be pregnant with you, and I am so proud to be your Mommy.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 20, 2008

2008-08-20T05:54:00.004-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday was a hard day for Mommy since I had to go back to work. I enjoyed the summer time so much, being able to do nothing and just "be" with you if I wanted to. It feels like my days have gotten so busy so fast. I don't like it very much because it makes each day pass quickly, and I want to slow down and treasure the time I have with you. We had a lot of meetings yesterday and you were kicking away! It was so sweet. At least in the midst of listening to the people speaking I could just put my hands on my tummy and feel you move. I love doing that. I don't want you to think that because I am busy at work that I don't think about you. I do. All the time. And I am so proud of you.

Last night Daddy was saying good night to you like he always does. He put his face right where we know your head is and said, "Good night little buddy" and gave you a kiss. He did that a few times, actually, and you kicked back every time. I know that made Daddy happy... it made me happy, too.

Today I have a doctor's appointment where I have to drink this really sweet and sugary drink and then they take my blood. I think you're going to like this drink! I hope it makes you dance up a storm in there :)

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 19, 2008

2008-08-19T05:33:00.005-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday was a really fun day with you. Mommy went with Daddy to play golf, and he let me drive the cart. I know it meant a lot to Daddy for you to be there. We got some neat pictures of you being there with us.

Here's Daddy golfing...

Here's Mommy in the golf cart...

This is Mommy's shadow with you in my tummy...

And here are Mommy and Daddy's shadows with you in my tummy...

We went out for crabs a little bit later, and really enjoyed that, too. After dinner, we went up to Baker Park to meet with a photographer who took lots of pictures of Mommy, Daddy and you in my tummy. I don't have the pictures from him yet, but he showed us many of them on his camera and they were beautiful. He will be at the hospital the day you are born, too, to take pictures of us holding you and loving you during the time we have with you.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 18, 2008

2008-08-18T06:36:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Last night Daddy and I watched a movie, and your were just wiggling up a storm. Daddy had his hands on my tummy a lot, giving gentle pokes and taps to let you know he was there, and many times you kicked him back. He really liked that. I don't know if you know that when we do that it our way of trying to spend time with you, but I hope so.

This morning Daddy is playing golf and asked me ride along. I know he'll enjoy my company, but the main reason he wanted me to come was so that he could take YOU golfing. Daddy loves golf, and I know he would want to be able to teach you some day. Since we don't know if that will ever happen, I know he's looking forward to taking you and having you with him this morning.

Tonight, we're going to have some pictures taken in the park of you in my tummy with Daddy and me. I know they will turn out beautiful. I am so proud of you.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 17, 2008

2008-08-17T07:42:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday was a beautiful day out. In the morning, Mommy met Michelle for breakfast. She brought me a sweet, soft blanket for you. It is white and has your name, a Bible verse, and a little giraffe embroidered on it in blue. It is so snuggly! We have several blankets for you now, and I am looking forward to being able to wrap you in each of them and take some pictures.

Last night Mommy watched the swimmer Michael Phelps set a big Olympic record by winning his 8th gold medal. There had been a lot of excitement surrounding this last race and how big of an accomplishment this would be. It is a huge accomplishment, and something that I know Michael and his family are very proud of.

This morning, though, I thought about you. I know that you won't ever be an Olympic swimmer setting world records and winning tons of medals. But Isaac, I am so proud of you. You see, the legacy that YOU are leaving isn't about a great physical feat that you accomplished on your own strength. Even though there's nothing wrong with those, Mommy and Daddy believe that that legacy you are leaving is much, much greater. It's eternal. It's not a record that can ever be broken. Your sweet life will be known for the way you've caused others to love more intently and deeply, to not take anything for granted, and for the way that you have drawn people to Jesus. I am so proud to be your Mommy, and I am so proud of you.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 16, 2008

2008-08-16T07:08:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

It was so good to see you yesterday on the ultrasound machine. The nice lady got some more really good pictures of you! You gave us another thumbs up (though she didn't print that one), and we saw some 4D pictures of your head. She god some pictures of your profile and we could see your sweet little ear, nose, mouth, and eye. Your eyes are closed, but in one picture it looked like your mouth was open. We didn't see any hair on your head yet, but I forgot to ask the doctor at what point it would even start growing. It might be too early.

You were moving around a lot during the exam. I could feel you move and then a second later see it on the screen. I love it when you do that! It made me chuckle.
We will get to "see" you again in a few weeks and I am really looking forward to that. That time we get to spend with you is so precious to Mommy and Daddy.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 15, 2008

2008-08-15T07:55:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Today Mommy and Daddy have a doctor's appointment, and we're so excited to be able to get to "see" you. I am hoping that the ultrasound tech will be able to get some great pictures of you again...maybe even some of the 4D ones. We can see so much of who you are on those. I am looking forward to seeing you wiggle and kick, seeing how much you have grown, seeing whether or not you suck your thumb, and maybe even starting to see whether or not you have any hair on your head. Daddy and I were both born with a head of dark hair, so I think you might be, too. These appointments make me wish that I could just reach inside of my tummy and hug you, hold you, and kiss your sweet face.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 14, 2008

2008-08-14T06:35:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday Daddy was very helpful and came to help me do some more work in my classroom. I hope you know what a wonderful Daddy you have. Every night he talks to you, tells you good night, and kisses my tummy as if he were kissing you good night. He puts his cheek to my tummy, hoping that you'll wiggle or kick back. Sometimes you do, and he really loves that. He loves you so much.

On our way to dinner, we saw another huge, bright rainbow, just like the one I told you about before. We had gotten some rain, and then it turned sunny... and so the rainbow was the result of that. It was so beautiful. We have been seeing a lot of rainbows recently. I tried to take a picture with my phone, but it didn't turn out to well. I wish you could have seen it.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 13, 2008

2008-08-13T06:44:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday Mommy did some work in my new classroom. I had a lot of unpacking to do and many things to get organized. It was good to get back into the swing of things a little bit.

Last night Daddy and I watched the Olympics for a while. We watched swimming and gymnastics. Lately, you've become quite the little gymnast yourself in my tummy! I read in one of my pregnancy books that around this time you'd start to be moving more often and that I would be able to feel your movements even more strongly. They were right! I love it. I love feeling you kick in places you haven't yet, and I love it when you are moving around for longer periods of time. I love knowing that you're there, that you're alive, and that I am fortunate enough to get to have one more day with you.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 12, 2008

2008-08-12T06:47:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday Mommy and Daddy had to do a very hard thing that made both of us extremely sad. We went to meet with some nice people at the funeral home and the cemetery. I felt so badly for doing that while you're still with us... the whole time you were kicking in my tummy. It was very hard. We just wanted to make sure that you would be given the very best because we love you so, so much.

Both of the men were very nice. There is a special place in the cemetery just for little children. It was sad to see how many were already there, but I was glad to know that there was a special place. I know it doesn't necessarily matter all that much in the scheme of things, because what matters is that you'll be with Jesus in heaven. even knowing that, though, Daddy and I still wanted to make sure that you would be given the very best should God decide to call you home.

I wish there were words bigger than "I love you" to tell you how Daddy and I feel about you. I know I tell you that all the time, but they don't always seem to be big enough or strong enough words. We just think that you're so special and so precious, and your sweet little life has already had such an influence here on Earth. We are so proud of you and we are so grateful to be your Mommy and Daddy. I am so thankful for even one more day with you.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 11, 2008

2008-08-11T07:56:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday it took Mommy and Daddy a long time to get home from Grammy's house. There was a very long back up at the Bay Bridge from a very sad car accident. We tried a different way, but there was traffic that way, too. We even hit a storm that dropped big piece of hail! All we could do was laugh because otherwise I think Daddy and I would have been very frustrated.

Today Daddy is playing golf and I hope to get things unpacked both here at home and in my new classroom. I am a little sad that the summer is coming to an end, because I really enjoyed having a lot of time to spend with you, thinking about you, and honoring you in some way. Even though things are about to get busy with the school year, please don't think that I am not thinking about you. I think about you all the time, Isaac... I pray for you all the time... and I just love you so much. I hope you know how special you are, and how precious you are to Daddy and me.

I love you Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 10, 2008

2008-08-10T07:53:00.000-04:00

Dear Isaac,

This afternoon Daddy and I went to the zoo with Grammy, Grandpa Jack, and Aunt Jolene. The zoo was small, but there were a lot of neat animals there. We saw colorful birds, like flamingoes and peacocks, and more exotic animals like a bobcat and different types of monkeys. I was glad to be able to take you there.

It was a little bit hard for Mommyto see all of the families with little babies and children being pushed in their strollers because I wanted to be able to smile and think that that would be us one day. I know, though, that even though you are still in my tummy, it was something I was so glad to be able to do with you.

You are so precious, Isaac. I love you.

Love,
Mommy

August 9, 2008

2008-08-09T07:50:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

This morning I got up and went to watch the sunrise on the beach. There weren't many people there, and it was very peaceful. I told you all about the pink and yellow colors in he sky, how the sun came over the horizon in a blazing orange and made a beautiful reflection on the water, and how the waves were so gentle. I would have much rather had you in my arms than in my tummy, but I was glad to just even be able to have you with me at all.

You've been moving around a lot today. You must be growing because I am feeling your kicks in places I haven't felt them yet. It's neat to be able to notice those types of things because it makes me feel like I know you even better.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 8, 2008

2008-08-08T07:47:00.000-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Today was our last day up on the beach. Daddy and I spent a lot of time up there. thankfully, it wasn't too hot.

The waves were great today... fairly gentle, but a little bit larger. I spent time in the ocean with Daddy, Aunt Kate, and Uncle Tim. The water was a bit chilly, so I hope it didn't bother you. Hopefully you stayed warm in there in my tummy. I really enjoyed jumping the waves "with" you. It was one of my favorite things to do when I was at the beach as a child.

Daddy and I went for a walk on the beach this evening and talked for a while. It is so pretty up there at both sunrise and sunset. Tomorrow morning I hope to get to see the sun rise on the beach and tell you all about it.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 7, 2008

2008-08-07T07:44:00.001-04:00

Dear Isaac,

This morning I spent some more time up on the beach taking pictures and telling you all about what I saw. The water was very calm, and there were several seagulls flying around cawing, or as Pop-Pop says, laughing. Their noise does sound a lot like that.

I took more pictures of your name in the sand again and got some nice ones. I want to try again tomorrow morning when the sun is rising, to get a few more.

Aunt Kate made an ice cream bombay for dessert tonight. I think you must have liked that as much as the TCBY... you wiggled and kicked like crazy again. It was really sweet... Aunt Kate felt it you wiggle, too! She likes to touch my tummy a lot to feel your little kicks.

I love you, Isaac. I can't wait to meet you.

Love,
Mommy

August 6, 2008

2008-08-06T07:42:00.001-04:00

Dear Isaac,

This evening turned out to be beautiful, so Mommy and Daddy went up to the beach with Aunt Kate and she took so pictures for us. We wanted to get some good ones with you in my tummy at the beach. We're thinking one of them might make a nice Christmas card picture. A few turned out really well!

Later, we went with Aunt Kate and Uncle Tim to listen to a band play. You haven't been to a concert yet, but I think you liked the music. You moved and kicked all around when the band was playing. Hopefully it wasn't too loud for your sweet little ears. We tried to stay towards the back so it wouldn't be.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 5, 2008

2008-08-05T07:39:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Mommy and Daddy went shopping for an outfit for you today, but the outlet stores were very crowded. We wanted to be able to take our time and decide on the perfect outfit. There were so many to choose from. So, we thought we would wait and make a special trip to find just the right thing. We want to be able to really enjoy shopping for it.

Aunt Kate was going to take pictures of Daddy and I with you in my tummy on the beach tonight, but the weather didn't cooperate. It wasn't rainy... just cloudy. But we wanted it to be beautiful outside, so we are going to try again tomorrow.

I finished an ice cream from TCBY and you're wiggling like crazy. I love it!

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 4, 2008

2008-08-04T07:36:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Today Mommy and Daddy spent a lot of time up on the beach. We played ladder ball, went in the ocean, and just relaxed. I know you can hear things now, and I hope so much that when I am in the ocean you can hear the waves crashing. It is such a calm, peaceful sound.

There were many children playing on the beach... digging holes, building sand castles, jumping waves. I want so much for you to have the chance to experience that, and I hope that in some way, even though you're in my tummy, you are this week.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 3, 2008

2008-08-03T07:33:00.004-04:00

Dear Isaac,

It's early in the morning on Sunday and Mommy is sitting up on the beach. The sun is over the ocean making the water glisten. It's very quiet and peaceful here this time of day. The only real noises are the waves crashing and the seagulls.

I spent some time taking pictures this morning... of the sun over the water and the waves crashing. And then I tried taking a bunch of pictures with your name written in the sand. I've only figured out how to write Isaac in a way that looked nice, but there are six other mornings to try your full name. I'm looking forward to more memories of you and me back up on the beach.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 2, 2008

2008-08-02T06:43:00.004-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Last night Mommy had a very vivid dream about you. In the dream, I was at home, and then at the store with Mom-mom. Although some of the things the doctors have said are making you sick were still there, they weren't as bad as they had thought. You were alive, and you were with us. I had you wrapped up in a little blanket and just held you close. You would nuzzle your sweet little face into my chest near my shoulder and would just snuggle up with me. It just felt so right... like how it's supposed to be.

I was so sad when my alarm went off this morning, and I wanted so badly to go back to that dream.

Today Mommy and Daddy leave for the beach. I can't wait to "take" you there. I won't be able to write my letters on the computer while I am there, but Mommy will be sure to still write to you every morning in her journal. I treasure having a few minutes at the start of each day to just be with you.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

August 1, 2008

2008-08-01T06:08:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Last night Daddy and I layed in bed for the longest time, both of us with our hands on my tummy. You had one of your wiggliest nights yet! Daddy asked me if you moving around that much was normal, and I told him that usually around 10:00 you get pretty wiggly. I told him that this was normal for you, and I love it.

Daddy also noticed how much more strongly we can feel your kicks now. You jabbed him pretty good a few times, and all he could say was, "Whoa!" I just loved that time that we got to spend together and with you, because I feel like it lets Daddy get to know you better in the same way that I get to every day.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 31, 2008

2008-07-31T06:17:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

I spent some time at my new school yesterday working with some of the other teachers, and I got to tell one of them all about you... how you're kicking and wiggling up a storm, how you seem to like Zazz and ice cream, and how you often respond to hearing Daddy's voice. I am so proud of you.

Daddy and I are getting really excited for our week at the beach. Like I told you before, I can't wait to "take" you in the ocean, tell you all about the pretty seashells I find on the beach, and write your name in the sand. I am looking forward to taking a picture of that.

I hope you know how much I love you, Isaac. I tell you all the time and try to do the things that I feel like would show you while you're still in my tummy... I would so much rather be able to snuggle with you and kiss your sweet little face.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 30, 2008

2008-07-30T06:24:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday Mommy went to the pool with Kirsten, Anne, and Jack for a bit. It was really hot outside, so we stayed in the water a bunch. I know you really like the water. It can be hard for Mommy to go to the pool sometimes and see all the little kids running around because I wish I knew that that would be you one day. I wish I knew that I would be able to see you reach all of those fun milestones, like learning to crawl and to walk, hearing you say "Ma-ma" or "Da-da" for the first time, and you getting your first tooth. I wish so much that things were different and want so badly to be able to just fix everything. I know that God can, whether that's here or in heaven. You're in good hands, Isaac.

Mommy tried this new maternity pillow last night that was very comfortable. I hope it didn't make you feel too squished or cramped in there. You keep growing and are getting very big! I love that, because it means I can feel your kicks and wiggles even better.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 29, 2008

2008-07-29T06:02:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

I have been reading about how at this stage in your development, you're starting to be able to respond to sounds that you hear. I think that's really neat, and you seem to be showing that. Last night Mommy went to see the movie Mama Mia with some friends. There is a lot of singing and music in the movie, and every time a song came on you started wiggling and kicking a lot. When it was just talking, you were a lot more still.

It has been so fun to begin to notice your patterns of when you are active, and when you are more still. Lately, it has been neat to feel you start to respond to noises. I love being able to get to know you like that. I can't wait to finally meet you and hold you and kiss your sweet little face.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 28, 2008

2008-07-28T06:01:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday was a pretty relaxing day for Mommy and Daddy. We went to church, rested for a while in the afternoon, and then had the Barrs over for dinner. While Daddy and I were resting, we could both feel you move around and wiggle a LOT. I know I've told you that I love getting to lay there and just feel you move, but yesterday Daddy got to do that, too. He loved it, just like I do.

Today begins the last week of summer school, and then Daddy and I will get to go to the beach with Pop-Pop, Grandma Mia, Aunt Kate, Uncle Tim, and Uncle Brendan. I'm excited to be able to "take" you in the ocean and carve out your precious name in the sand.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 27, 2008

2008-07-27T06:49:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

We saw Pop-Pop and Grandma Mia yesterday for a little while. We spent quite a bit of time looking at the pictures of you, talking about each of your features and who each one looked like. It's so neat that even though you only weigh a little bit more than one pound, we can see your features so clearly and can already see ways that you look like Mommy and ways you look like Daddy.

In the evening, Daddy and I went to go rent a movie. As we were driving, we saw the biggest rainbow in the sky. Usually, you can only see part of one, because there are buildings or trees in th way blocking your view of th whole thing. Yesterday, the area where we saw it was wide open, and the rainbow was so high up in the sky that we could see the whole thing. It was beautiful. I wish you could have actually seen it yourself, because each of the colors was so bright and so beautiful. Mommy has been sad a lot lately, and the rainbow reminded me of God's faithfulness, just like how God gave a rainbow as a sign to Noah after the flood to remind him that He is faithful.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 26, 2008

2008-07-26T07:06:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Daddy and I loved having the chance to see you yesterday. The nice ultrasound lady got some wonderful pictures of you with the special 4-D ultrasound machine. Instead of being black and white and looking like an x-ray as regular ultrasound pictures do, these pictures look almost like a little sculpture of your body. We could see your ear, nose, one of your eyes, your mouth, shoulder, part of your arm... it was so neat. You looked so cozy in there.

I think you have Daddy's nose, and both of our lips. You gave us a thumbs up again, and we could see that you have Daddy's thumb because the top of your thumb bends back a little, just like his. Mine sticks straight up.

We went to dinner and to a festival with Aunt Kate and Uncle Tim. Aunt Kate gave me a beautiful necklace. It is a pretty type of gold and has two small, thin circle pendants hanging from it... one with an "I" engraved on it, and one with a star. It's my Isaac necklace, and I love it.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 25, 2008

2008-07-25T06:03:00.004-04:00

Dear Isaac,

I had lunch with Mom-Mom yesterday. When we first go there, she was able to see my tummy move when you kicked. As we were leaving, she wanted to be able to feel you kick and wiggle, but I think you must have been asleep. We tried for a few minutes to get you to move around, but you just wouldn't. Hopefully next time she'll get the chance.

Today Daddy and I go for an ultrasound at the doctor's office. I am really looking forward to getting to see you. I hope that the ultrasound tech is able to get some great pictures of you like she did last time. Getting the chance to see you helps me to feel like I am getting to know you better. I am so proud of you, and I am so proud to be your Mommy.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 24, 2008

2008-07-24T06:09:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Last night Daddy and I went shopping to find the perfect blanket for you. I wanted one that was blue, and that would be the softest, snuggliest, most comfortable blanket we could find so that you would always feel comfortable, safe, and warm. A few friends had told us about one at Pottery Barn Kids, a store where I had already found lots of neat things.

I had looked up the blanket on the internet, and it seemed perfect; but, I didn't want to just buy it without the having the chance to touch it and rub it against my cheek to make sure it would be just the right one.

It was. It was perfect. In fact, it's called "My Best Blankie." Daddy agreed that it was perfect. I actually bought two of them, which really confused the lady at the checkout. She asked Daddy and I if we were having twins, and we said no, there's one. She asked if one was a gift, and again, we told her no. She asked us your name, as well, although I am sure that what she was really wondering was why we were buying two of the same blanket.

The truth is that we bought two because Mommy wanted one of her own. I wanted to have one so that if God decides to only give you a few moments with us, I would be able to have the same thing you have, so that when I miss you, I will be able to take it out and hold it, and rub it on my face, and know that it's the same soft, snuggly blanket that's wrapped around you.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 23, 2008

2008-07-23T06:12:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday afternoon I went for a little walk/jog around the neighborhood. I thought it had cooled down, but it was still a little hot! I can't figure out if you like the jog part too much... one of your legs kept jabbing me almost as if to tell me, "Mommy! Stop!!" Or, maybe you were excited and you liked it.

I prayed for you for a while yesterday, too. A girl named Lauren sent me a piece of a prayer cloth she used when she prayed for her baby, Norrah. I have never met Lauren, but she has been a good friend to me and she prays for you often. I layed the little piece of cloth on my tummy and asked God to make you better... to heal your little body and to allow Mommy and Daddy to have a long time with you. I don't know if His answer will be yes or no... I want it to be yes so badly. Like I told you before, though, even if Mommy and Daddy only have a moment with you, it will be worth it for us. And I know that if you're not with us, you'll be resting safely in the arms of Jesus... and really, there's no better place to be.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 22, 2008

2008-07-22T06:00:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Last night Daddy and I layed in bed for a while just talking to you. Like the last time we did that, Daddy would put his mouth right next to my tummy and talk to you, then put the side of his face down to see if you'd "answer." A few times you did with a little jab to his cheek. We both thought it was so sweet and really funny!

Isaac, I want you to know that there are still so many people praying for you and begging God for a miracle... that He would heal your little body and allow us to have years and years with you. Daddy and I pray for that every day because we just love you so much. I hope you know that we do. We try to let you know in every way we know how.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 21, 2008

2008-07-21T17:30:00.004-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Last night we had some chocolate cake for Grandpa Gerry's birthday. You liked it. It was great because Aunt Jolene and Aunt Melinda got to feel you wiggle and kick. It was great for them to be able to "meet" you.

We had a long car ride home from New York today, and I know you must have been getting a little squished in there with all the sitting I was doing. Hopefully it was okay in there and still gave you plenty of room. I am sure, though, since you're growing so much that regardless of whether I am sitting or standing, that you're getting squished. Hopefully that means I'll get to feel your kicks and punches even more strongly in the weeks to come!

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 20, 2008

2008-07-20T13:59:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday Daddy and I spent a lot of time with Aunt Jolene, Aunt Melinda, Uncle Pearce, Grandpa Gerry and Betsy. We hung out by the pool and played in the water for a bit. It was nice to get to relax and to see them.

Last night was a hard night for Mommy. I had a long talk with God, asking Him why things aren't different, why He hasn't chosen to intervene and heal your little body, and why it seems like our time with you once you're born is going to be very, very short. It makes Mommy really sad and really angry because I want so much for you to be okay. I want to just make things better for you. But I can't. And I don't like that very much.

This morning I woke up with Daddy before he played golf, and then I just layed in bed for a while with my hands on my tummy feeling you wiggle. I just wanted to spend that time with you. I often wonder if you can tell when I do that...if you can feel my hands there. I hope you can. I hope you know that it's me trying to spend time with you in the only way I know how to.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 19, 2008

2008-07-19T19:06:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday we had a doctor's appointment and we got to hear your heartbeat. I loved it. It was a little hard for the nurse to find it, perhaps because of your positioning. Your heart was beating so strong at 160 beats per minute. It makes me so glad to know that your heart is healthy.

After the appointment, Mommy and Daddy traveled up to New York to visit with Daddy's family. On the way, pretty far from home, we broke down. We had to have the car towed and then repaired. The lady at the car shop noticed my tummy and asked all about you. I love being able to talk about you... what mom isn't excited to talk about her child? I am so proud of you.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 18, 2008

2008-07-18T06:15:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Last night Daddy and I walked over to get ice cream. It was really hot out, and so we had to eat it pretty fast as we walked back home. I think you like mint chocolate chip ice cream... you were kicking like crazy after I ate it. Daddy says it's just the sugar, and he may be right; but I like to think you like mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Today we are driving to upstate New York to see Aunt Melinda, Aunt Jolene, Uncle Pearce, and Grandpa Gerry. It's a long drive, and I know you don't like being squished when I am sitting down. Hopefully it won't bother you too much. I'll try to lay back for a little bit so that you have some room.

Before we leave, we're also going to meet with the doctor. I will get to hear your heartbeat today. I love that. I love knowing that you're still alive and well in there. We're going to talk about your delivery, too. Mommy is a little scared about that, but I know that it means that I will get to hold you and kiss your sweet little face.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 17, 2008

2008-07-17T06:05:00.004-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Last night they had fireworks at the carnival, and you could see and hear them so clearly from the back porch. My favorite ones were the gold ones that exploded in a circle and then sparkled as they slowly trickled down. I stood there watching the whole thing, wondering if you could hear the loud booms and wishing you could see all of the beautiful colors and designs. I think maybe you heard the booms because every time a really loud one happened you kicked me.

I think about you constantly, Isaac, and I pray for you all the time. Sometimes Mommy doesn't know what to pray for for you. I want so badly for your little body to be okay and for you to live a long life here with us, but I know that eternity with Jesus is far better than life here. I just want you to know how much I love you, and that you'll always be a part of our family. You'll always be our first born, the first grandchild of my parents, and hopefully one day a big brother.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 16, 2008

2008-07-16T06:03:00.004-04:00

Dear Isaac,

You were quite the wiggler last night... much more than usual. It was so fun. Daddy came and tried talking right into my tummy to see if you could hear him. He would say hello to you and then put his ear and the side of his face on my tummy to see if you would respond. You did a couple of times, but I think he was hoping for a swift kick to the cheek. I love it that he did that... he really wants you to know his voice and to know him.

I woke up this morning to you moving all around, too. It's a great way to start my day because it reminds me that you're there and that God has given me wone more day with you. I wish I knew that there would be hundreds... thousands, even... but I am grateful for just one more. You are so precious to us.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 15, 2008

2008-07-15T05:57:00.004-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Today your story is going to be posted on the Children's National Medical Center website. I am so excited that your sweet life will have the chance to influence and impact even more people.

Last night Daddy and I layed in bed just feeling you move and wiggle around. He would tap on my tummy and you would kick or punch back... it was almost like a little game. He kisses you goodnight every night, Isaac... I don't know if you somehow know that or not, but I wanted to tell you. You are so special to us. We love talking about you, feeling you move, and just being "with" you.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 14, 2008

2008-07-14T05:56:00.004-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday I had the chance to visit with Kim and Beth, and the chance to get together with Kirsten for some coffee and dessert. All of them had questions about you. I loved having the chance to talk about you, even though some of the things we talked about made Mommy very sad.

I just want so much to know that I am going to be able to keep you when you are born, and that I am going to get to teach you to walk, how to ride a bike, put a Band-Aid on your boo-boo's when you fall, read to you before bed time, and all the other things that mommies dream about for their babies. It hurts my heart to know that God may ask me to give you back to Him. And although being with Him is a far better place, I would much rather have you here first.

I haven't even met you yet, and I already just love you so much, Isaac. I think about you all the time, wondering what you're doing in there to keep busy and pass the time. You are so precious to me and to Daddy.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 13, 2008

2008-07-13T07:07:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Last night Daddy took Mommy to a wonderful restaurant for dinner. We got dressed up, and it was so much fun to be able to go out and look like a cute mommy waiting for her baby to come. I am so proud to be your Mommy, Isaac.

You have been wiggling around a lot lately, and it's fun to start noticing a rhyme and reason to your patterns of being awake and asleep. It makes me feel like I am getting to know you a little bit. I can't wait to meet you in person.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 12, 2008

2008-07-12T07:53:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

I am so glad it is finally the weekend and that Mommy and Daddy will have the chance to really relax a bit today. Yesterday while Daddy played golf, I went to visit with Sue. We sat by the pool and talked... a lot of the time we talked about you. She asked all kinds of things, like if I could feel you kick yet, and when you were the most active. I just love telling people all about you.

At small group last night we prayed for you, Isaac. We prayed for God to work a miracle and to heal your little body. We thanked Him for your life, for the meaning that it carries, and for how special you are.

I love you so much, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 11, 2008

2008-07-11T06:18:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday after summer school I had the chance to come home and relax at the pool for a bit, then take a short nap. You have these periods where for a few days you aren't as active, then for a few days you are. Yesterday was one of your msot active days yet! I loved being able to rub or tap on my tummy and then have you kick back. It was sort of like a little game. I am grateful to have had the time to relax and to just be with you.

Karen had some of the girls from the neighborhood over last night for dessert. We had the chance to talk about you a little bit. They all love your name, and they loved the stories I was telling about your movement patterns. They also said that my tummy looks cute because of you being in there.

When I came home, Daddy had brought be a beautiful bouquet of flowers, full of some of my favorites... gerber daises and lillies. He is such a wonderful person, Isaac, and I wish that he was able to get to know you as well as I have. He tries, like when he kisses Mommy's tummy every night to say good night to you, and when he will try tapping on my tummy to get you to kick back. He wants you to know that he's there and that he loves you.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 10, 2008

2008-07-10T06:03:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

You must have been having a little dance party in Mommy's tummy yesterday... all day long! I could feel you wiggle during summer school, when I was visiting with Melanie (that may have been the chocolate chip cookies!), and last night while watching So You Think You Can Dance with Daddy. He came over to blow on my tummy to see what you would do. You didn't do anything...we'll have to try that one again. :)

Isaac, I have heard from so many more people in the past few days about how your sweet life has had an impact on them. I know that it is every mother's hope that their child would leave a legacy. For mommies and daddies who know Jesus, it's their hope that their children would make a difference in this world for Him. That's my hope and Daddy's hope... and that's what you're already doing! I know that some parents wait for years, or even a lifetime for their children to have the kind of impact that you are already having. You matter, Isaac. Your life matters... it's important, not only to Mommy and Daddy, but to the people who you are affecting that we don't even know. I am so proud of you.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 9, 2008

2008-07-09T06:26:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday the lady at Children's Hospital contacted me and wanted to use a picture of YOU on their website... your famous thumbs up picture!! Mommy cried when she asked me this, because it si so special to me that other people will get to see you and get to know you a little bit.

I had a nice lunch with Julie yesterday and we talked all about you. I told her how thankful I was that this pregnancy has physically been very easy, and that I am trying to enjoy each day with you that I can.

There are so many people praying for you, sweet Isaac... people I know, people I don't know, and people who haven't prayed much before now. I am so proud to be your Mommy and that your life continues to touch the lives of so many people, including to high school girls in Taylor's cabin at Young Life camp who decided to start a relationship with Jesus after hearing your story. I am so proud of you.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 8, 2008

2008-07-08T05:41:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

We met with Dr. Iafolla yesterday. She's one of the head doctors for newborn babies at the hospital where you will be born. She very kindly answered all of my question, and told me to definitely bring an outfit for the doctors to put you in. I am looking forward to picking out just the right thing for you to wear and a snuggly blanket to wrap you in.

Today we have work again. It didn't go too badly yesterday, but I missed being able to feel more connected with you and more in tune to you moving. It's hard to do that with the students there. Later I am hoping to go to the pool for a little bit and spend some time in the water. It seems like you really like that.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 7, 2008

2008-07-07T06:07:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

We had a terrible thunderstorm last night that kept both Mommy and Daddy awake last night. At one point, we were sure the lightning must have struck very nearby. I think the storm kept you awake, too... you were moving all over!

Today Mommy and Daddy go back to work to teach summer school. It is only a half day, but I would much rather be at home having smoe time to relax and just enjoy feeling you wiggle around. Please know that even though I will be working, I think about you all the time. I often rub my tummy to let you know that I am here and I am thinking about you... often, you'll poke me back. It's wonderful.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 6, 2008

2008-07-06T06:48:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

This weekend Grammy and Grandpa Jack are here visiting. It has been nice to visit with them. Daddy played golf with Jack yesterday, and Grammy and I watched a movie and went to the pool. We went out for dinner in the evening, and I think you liked the lemonade I had... you did quite the little dance afterwards!

I put our thumbs up picture of you in the frame that Mom-Mom brought. It looks beautiful, and is sitting front and center on the bookshelf in our living room. I can see it every morning when I walk downstairs. I am so thankful for that picture of you. Any time I see or give a thumbs up now I think of you, and I know that I always will. It is so special... you are so special.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 5, 2008

2008-07-05T06:40:00.002-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday we celebrated the 4th of July. Daddy and I went to the park downtown where they had all kinds of games of games and rides. There were clowns, men walking on stilts, and even a small petting zoo and pony rides. We had a nice lunch while we listened to the live music, and walked around for a bit. In the evening we went over to Kirsten and John's with the rest of small group for dinner. Everyone was asking all about you. We watched the fireworks, even though they were a little bit hard to see since the smoke was blowing in our direction.

Daddy and I had a lot of fun, but the day made us a little sad, too. I want so much to be able to keep you and to know that next year on the 4th of July we'd be pushing you in a stroller while we did all those things, letting you pet the sheep, or ride on the carousel. I don't know if that will be God's plan, but I want it to be my plan because I want so much to have you here with Mommy and Daddy. You are just so precious to us.

I love you, Isaac.

Love,
Mommy

July 4, 2008

2008-07-04T06:52:00.003-04:00

Dear Isaac,

Yesterday Mom Mom came to visit. She really wanted to feel you moving around in there, but unfortunately you weren't very active... even after the frozen yogurt I ate from Ben & Jerry's!

She brought us the most beautiful frame. It is blue and has white baby boots design at the top. At the bottom, she had your name engraved. I love seeing your name, especially when it looks so permanent. I don't know how long Mommy and Daddy will get to hold you before you go to be with Jesus. But I know that you are a permanent part of our family, and that your mark is permanently engraved on our hearts and in this world. You are having an impact.

I love you, Isaac. I am so proud to be your Mommy.

Love,
Mommy